How to come-out to friends and family.

Since 1988, National Leaving Home Day has been celebrated on October 11 as an opportunity for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people to celebrate their identity for the first time or discuss it with family and friends. But going out is not limited to certain times of the year, teenagers and young people. The median age for publication is now 16, and it continues to decline thanks to the support of friends and family and access to information that helps people determine how they feel first. Leaving home on your own can be difficult, regardless of whether you are reconciled with your gender identity or sexual orientation or you totally agree with it.

Leaving is also only part of your LGBTQ + journey, and while it may be necessary to many people, it does not define who you are or how you love and accept yourself. It’s also unique to you — people face different challenges when they go outside. You may find it more convenient to write a letter or email than to tell someone in person.

How to move forward. Make sure they know if they can share this information. If you tell people gradually, rather than all at once, it is essential to know the people you tell them. You can also ask them to help you tell others and offer support during the discussion. This may mean that you are reaching out to someone you trust, and there are reasonable reasons to believe that he will support you.

If you want to talk to one family member at a time, be sure to tell them when you share the message. You can start with friends and tell your family or anyone else. Later, you can tell this to your family, friends, and people in your area, sometimes immediately, sometimes later. Find out who or people you think most agree with the news and tell them first.

You can often tell how friendly a person is towards LGBTQ people by reacting when this topic comes up in conversation. Be prepared for questions and potential mistrust. When you leave them, people may have a lot of questions. If you claim to be trans or non-binary, you may need to prepare answers to help people understand if the people you are talking to have stereotypes about what it means to be trans or non-binary or don’t know it. First, that’s okay, be prepared to provide definitions and explanations, so people know what this means to you.

At the same time, try to be empathetic to how they feel — it is not easy, to be frank with someone close to you. Most people who come out think a lot before telling someone, so it’s essential to take it seriously. If someone close to you claims to be trans, you may not know how you feel about it or react. We often ask ourselves to go out (tell people that we are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender).

If friends make assumptions about your sexuality, they can encourage you to open up, even if you’re unsure. For example, you may say that you are still exploring your personality; however, if you show confusion when you tell them, it can undermine your trust and that of others. Remember that no one can force you to leave, and if you feel it is unsafe for you to tell them for any reason, you should not. If possible, you should try to tell your family and close friends about your sexual orientation or gender before posting on social media.

The most common ways to make yourself known is to personally tell a trusted friend or family member, write a letter or text message, or even post it on social media. However, if you cannot share your identity or are trying to figure out if you should open up, it may be helpful to speak with a counsellor or call an anonymous hotline.

Having support systems can help you plan how to exit (or not). Support systems can also help you cope when the response to your revelation does not meet your expectations.

We’ve found that parents (and friends) are more likely to respond better when news comes directly from you than from someone else. If based on their previous observations or attitudes towards the LGBT community, you feel that your parents will react badly to the point that they will not tolerate you living in their house as an LGBT teenager, then we recommend that you wait until you don’t finish. Independent of your family. Finding out that a family member is LGBT can be complicated if you believe your faith or religion is the opposite of homosexuality. Regardless of your initial thoughts or feelings, remember that identifying as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender for the most part does not change who they are or were or make them friends or family. …

There is no one-size-fits-all way to tell family and friends. When you’re ready, decide who to ask it to and when. If you have LGBTQ + friends or family, a mentor, or a trusted therapist, these may be the safest people to share first and give you some recognition and trust. As advice to go out to others. This may be the best way to tell a large family or others in your life who you want to have a meaningful conversation with but are not willing or able to speak to in person.

For example, during a conversation with a friend, you might say, “By the way, I wanted to tell you something,” and then leave. Likewise, sending clues about your sexual orientation or gender can help you gauge someone’s feelings and give you an idea of ​​what their reaction will be before you openly decide for them.

While you can’t predict what people will say or do when you tell a trusted friend, they will likely feel privileged because you thought the opportunity to share something so personal with them. Many people worry about how their families will react to their exit.